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My dad tried to fix the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan won.
Hey Highway Crew, There are two kinds of people in this world. People who see something broken in their house and call somebody who knows what they’re doing. And people who stare at it for twelve seconds and say: “I can fix that.” Those four words have probably generated more emergency room visits than…
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The Night Kevin Learned Why You Don’t Answer the Breakroom Phone
There are certain sounds you expect to hear when you work overnight. Machines humming. Vending machines stealing somebody’s money. A coworker opening a bag of chips with enough force to wake the dead. And at least once per shift, somebody saying: “Man, I should’ve called out.” What you don’t expect to hear is…
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The Night Danny Declared War on a Cop With a Super Soaker
The Super Soaker Incident of ’98 There are certain stories from your teenage years that make you stop and wonder: How did we survive long enough to develop lower back pain? Because teenagers today will never fully understand what it was like growing up in the late ’90s. There were no smartphones documenting your…